Femme
for love & culture
You weep inwardly (inner cry-New York Style)
after your friend asks you – did you ever want a relationship
with your father?
after twenty years – filled with antiseptic/// hardened glow
No, I say, and I want to cry.
no resource will fill—I doubt the hand that feeds me
promise, promise is not forever, can still, quiet roaring.
& when I stare into the sun
burning up my retina—destroying images of men leaving or
papa dying.
Do I ever want real relationships?
I burn a hand that feeds
burn feeding-you hands
char flesh center-stage, focus of undoing.
I’m weeping, calling my mother
it’s just us & this hostility & genesis
stalking us everywhere we go—with every man we meet.
sharp glare thrust knock politely tap, tap on thin bone
scattering dazzling pink light, scaly, glittering on wish-less
tongue
bloody from memory of darkest sky, omen of past retreat.
we cannot beat our demons, but we trap them and suck out
the meat
only bone is left, we sprinkle colorful light and leave remains
like that.
~Mateo Lara
Mateo Perez Lara is queer latinx, originally from Bakersfield, California. He received his B.A. in English at CSU Bakersfield. He is currently working on his M.F.A. in Poetry at Randolph College in Lynchburg, VA. His poems have been featured in Emerson Review, EOAGH. He is an editor for RabidOak online literary journal & Zoetic Press.
Another wow. “…only bone is left, we sprinkle colorful light and leave remains
like that.” Favorite line. thank you